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My Trip to Lowe’s

I went to Lowe’s today to buy a replacement toilet seat.  (The details of how the last one cracked in half are not important.)  This was actually my third trip–the first time, I was simply overwhelmed by the nearly two dozen choices.  The second time, I purchased one, but it was the wrong size.  Today was the exchange.

So I’m again standing in front of the wall of toilet seats, when The Lowe’s Guy comes over and asks me if I need any help.  So I respond with something along the lines of “It’s my third time here, so hopefully I’m good by now.”  So he says, “Three times?  There’s only two kinds of seats–round and elongated.”

I now realize that I sound like a moron given that it’s taken three trips to buy something so simple, so I reply with “Yeah, I know.  But I thought it was based on the shape of my ass, not the shape of the bowl.”  Needless to say, The Lowe’s Guy found this to be quite funny.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Bridget
    July 15, 2011 at 9:54 PM

    Would you say your ass is round or elongated?

    • July 15, 2011 at 10:02 PM

      It’s round, and it’s spectacular.

      • Jillibean
        September 9, 2011 at 1:01 PM


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